Everyone knows there's only one place to go when you want to make it big in the problem solving industry. That city of shattered dreams, the jagged maw in the sunken face of our nation's democracy, the Big Turnip itself: Washington D.C.! We're here, we've got big ideas, and we're not leaving until we've found some shadowy bigshots to implant our ideas into like those gross slug things from the kids books where they all learn to turn into animals and do war crimes real good.

To demonstrate our incredible problem-solving prowess, we tackle the big issues: the Philly Phanatic's capacity for murder, mysterious Canadian poop rain, and the shameful under-appreciation of rat performance art.

Plus: we visit DC's scenic Southwest Duck Pond, and boy is it something! It is literally something.

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